September 22, 1:40PM
The day was spent mostly outside of Pyongyang in a little mountain village. I awoke to a greatly stiffened back from the wooden plank that I was so privileged to be sleeping on and, although I was well within the one hour time frame for hot water, had a low-pressure lukewarm washing. Also, the shower was most likely built for the average North Korean that stands around two feet shorter than me. I could continue complaining about the breakfast of which all I had was seven slices of buttered bread in lieu of the God knows what, but that would make this country seem less than third world.
First on the agenda was heading over to the faux temple, where we could see actual evidence of freedom of religion in this country. It was a very nice temple. Very well preserved, as a place would be when no one goes anywhere near it unless foreigners are around. There was even a soldier participating in an early Halloween in full-blown monk attire.
Catch 22: If every North Korean has to be wearing a Kim Il-Sung pin, how do you do it when wearing a monk costume?
Now I'm not one to run around a country pointing out their obvious failed attempts at things, but even North Korea did a terrible job here. For example, in the room where the monk above was located there was also a big golden Buddha statue, which is the same for every Buddhist temple in South Korea. In said room, there were also 20 foreigners with their cameras snapping photos of the statue mimicking his hand gesture, etc. If you so much as reached for a camera in front of one of these statues in South Korea while a monk was around he would throw you off the mountain faster than an ajumma could shove you from a line waiting for a bus. Of course everyone knew anyway that freedom of religion is non-existent in this country, but come on North Korea, do some research. You'll fool someone some day. I promise.
We then headed over to the International Friendship Exhibition, which are two buildings where gifts that have been given to the leaders are kept. Each leader has their own building. From the outside, they look like any normal-sized (maybe above average) building, but they are actually gigantic underground mazes that would probably take days to navigate by one's self. These guys get lots of presents.
Kim Il-Sung's.
Complete with shiny guns.
We were not permitted to take cameras inside of here and we also had to put little slippers on over our shoes as to not bring in filth from the outside world. We have had to do this sort of thing a lot. Don't they realize that they are calling their own country filthy by making us do this? We are led through the underground corridors every so often popping in a room to see what sort of gifts Kim Il-Sung has received. A giant ceramic vase from China, an intricately sewn carpet from Russia, a taxidermied crocodile from Nigeria, a bullet-proof Soviet sedan from Stalin, a cuckoo clock from Cambodia, a painting of Kim Il-Sung riding a flying robot horse alongside Videl Castro from Cuba, a cereal bowl from the United States, an Apple computer from Samsung. The things just get stranger as you go along. The British chaps in our group were having a good time pointing out all of the British gifts that could be bought for less than a pound at a highway rest stop. There was even a hallway with pictures of animals that the leaders of other countries have given to him that are still in their home country's natural habitat. Sort of like when someone gives you a Christmas card saying that a tree has been planted in your name in a rain forest somewhere in Brazil. The only thing about these pictures was that they were completely and obviously photoshopped. Unless Finland really gave a polar bear that could walk on water.
We went to Kim Jong-il's present house next, but no one was really impressed by it. Same old same old for a less interesting person. Why does this guy deserve anything? His father did all of the work, he's just riding the coattails. It's very interesting to see the North Korean's view of Kim Jong-il, because it's almost just as negative as ours. Of course they could never say the things we can say, but it's obvious when you hear them compare the two. Kim Il-Sung is like the epitome of greatness, while Kim Jong-il is just...eh.
The balcony of the building gave us a very nice view of the river beneath us and the mountains surrounding us. We sat an enjoyed some coffee.
The highway back to Pyongyang. One bicycle rider.
Some countryside scenery. It was very beautiful.
September 23, 10:50AM
Richard and I have gone our separate ways. He has gone to take the 23-hour train ride from Pyongyang to Beijing, while I, along with the rest of the Americans, are here on the 1-hour flight. North Korea does not let any citizens of a country without diplomatic relations with them on that train. Because that would not make sense.
Good morning and goodbye, Pyongyang.
Yesterday we went to look around the captured US spy vessel, the USS Pueblo, captured by the DPRK in 1968. Also captured were 80-plus Americans aboard the ship. They were kept in the DPRK and almost put to trial (which they would have lost and been killed) until the United States issued a written apology. As said by our latest brainwashing film, "The world hailed the DPRK for standing up to the imperialist Americans and cheered alongside us as the United States was publicly humiliated."
"Here is where your coward American brothers died."
The US apology. Not pictured, nor present: The slip of paper attached to the apology that contradicted everything written on this paper. It was removed by the North Koreans and presumably tossed away.
Last night we were supposed to go to some sort of fun fair where we could ride rides that implemented the natural fear of death every time they are switched on, but it was closed because of a Korean holiday. Our guides instead took us for a relaxing night time stroll down one of the more aesthetically pleasing avenues in Pyongyang. We frightened lots of North Korean couples our for a late night holding-hands session.
We were then taken to a local brewery where the tour was omitted and we went right to the bar to drink free North Korean beer for about an hour. North Korean beer, by the way, is phenomenal. It really beats the hell out of any beer available in South Korea. When we did buy it, it costs only about 50 cents a bottle, and the bottle is 640mL. We went back to the hotel per usual and spent the remainder of the night watching the lights go out over Pyongyang from the rotating restaurant at the top of our hotel. Which, inevitably, stopped rotating.
The plane has now begun to taxi and the safety video has finished, which in no way holds back from the propaganda itself. "Welcome aboard this flight, made possible by our Great Leader and his innovation in the technology of flight...In case of a water landing, praise the Great Leader for his safety advancements, and reach for the life vest beneath your seat." Etc, etc, etc.
As always, thanks for reading. If you ever get the chance to take a trip to North Korea, I absolutely implore you to do so. The country is opening its doors more than ever right now, but that may not last long with the upcoming regime change. Get in while you can. It's a truly fascinating experience.
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