A Vacation Approaches

I will go to Emart today to pick up my Chinese visa, which was the one last hurdle to jump before my trip to Pyongyang next Friday. It was supposed to be ready yesterday, but they told me to return today at "ten baek twenty baek," which my loose grasp on the Korean language translates to between 10:00 and 20:00, because what travel agency gives you a 20 minute window to acquire what's rightfully yours? Probably the one in Emart, where the man next to me last week was booking his wonderful trip to Daejeon through them. I would have done it for half what he paid. We'll see.

As a special treat to my mother, I will post a section of the United States' recently posted travel warning for the DPRK, updated on August 27th. I'll spare the parts about entering the country without proper documentation because I'm not ready to right a book yet. That's why they do it, right?

Even if you are a U.S. citizen entering North Korea with a valid passport and a valid visa for North Korea, you may be expelled, arrested, or imprisoned for knowingly or unknowingly violating the laws of North Korea. Foreign visitors to North Korea may be arrested, detained, or expelled for activities that would not be considered criminal in the United States, including involvement in unsanctioned religious and political activities, engaging in unauthorized travel, or interaction with the local population. If you travel unescorted inside North Korea without explicit official authorization, North Korean security personnel may view your actions as espionage. Security personnel may also view any unauthorized attempt you make to talk to a North Korean citizen as espionage. North Korean authorities may fine or arrest you for unauthorized currency transactions or for shopping at stores not designated for foreigners.

North Korean authorities have detained foreign nationals who questioned the policies, public statements, or the actions of the current or former leadership of North Korea. North Korean authorities may also view taking unauthorized pictures as espionage, confiscate cameras and film, and/or detain the photographer. North Korean border officials routinely confiscate visitors’ cell phones upon arrival, returning the phone only upon departure.

Have fun on your warm, sunny beaches, intelligent travelers. Back-breaking manual labor is the new lounging in the sand. Gulags are the new beach huts. Recycled urine is the new pina colada.